Discussing Heteronormativity in the Classroom

Hola hola hola:

A huge push in my district (and many other districts) is to develop lessons that incorporate social emotional learning (SEL) to help students of all types with their social and emotional growth. There is so much that goes into this--using students' names, greeting students at the door, etc. However, it's more than just interactions with students; we want to start incorporating it into our everyday lessons. This might mean using more brain breaks, doing mindfulness activities before an assessment, etc.

Given that I am a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have always wanted to make it a point to ensure that students in this community with me feel safe in my classroom/school. We have rainbow flags in our classrooms, etc. However, I hadn't really incorporated it into the curriculum yet.

The closest I used to get to talking about this in my classroom was when I would tell them things about my boyfriend. I try to normalize LGBTQ+ relationships as much as possible so that, even if it's not in the curriculum, it is present in my classroom. Since I believe in communicative language teaching, this does mean that I talk about myself with my students, so it does come up, but not as often as I would like.

HETERONORMATIVITY:

Heteronormativity is basically anything that promotes heterosexual relationships as being "the norm." At our last department meeting, my department head, Dr. Jorge Allen, had us all look at the United Nations website, and I came across the section about gender equality. It got me thinking, "if this is a goal for our department, how can I incorporate this in my classroom?" 

A few days later, IT HIT ME! 

Every year, I have to teach the "party unit." This unit drives me bonkers because it talks a lot about chores and planning for a party, which my students rarely do. Last year, I wanted to make this unit more thematic, so I decided to teach them about the quinceañera. For those of you who don't know, it's basically like a Sweet 16/Bat Mitzvah but at the age of 15. There are some really cool traditions in the quinceañera, so we would talk about those traditions and then move on. This year, however, I did the same thing, but I am now working on discussing how heteronormative quinceañeras can be. 

Here are some of the traditions (depending on the country/family):

1. The girl wears an elegant dress

2. There is a court of honor comprised of 15 pairs/couples - 15 "chambelanes" and 15 "damas"

3. They cut the cake

4. The girl changes from flats to high heels to represent becoming a woman

5. The father daughter dance (usually a waltz)

6. The grand entrance

7. The last doll (sometimes, she gives away her favorite doll. In other countries, she receives her very last doll. In other countries, this tradition doesn't exist).
etc. etc.

This got me thinking about a lot of WHAT IFs.

1. What if the girl is a lesbian? 
2. What if the girl doesn't have a dad? 
3. What if the girl doesn't want to wear high heels? Not all women wear high heels...
4. What if the girl doesn't feel comfortable wearing a dress? 
5. What if she never played with dolls? 
6. Why does the court have to be made up of fifteen boys and fifteen girls? 
7. What if they prefer gender neutral pronouns? 
8. etc. 

Now, I have to stress to my students and to you that all of these traditions are absolutely okay...IF they work for the person turning 15. However, what if these traditions do not work? Can we question these traditions? 

This year, I want my students to question these "what if" scenarios and offer other possible options. Last week, we got into the discussion of traditions. Should these traditions always apply because they are traditions? Some students said yes because otherwise traditions would never exist. I pushed back a bit and said that traditions can change without disappearing. For example, if the girl turning 15 has two mothers, she can dance with her mothers instead of a father. The tradition of having a dance doesn't disappear, it just changed a bit. The students seemed receptive to that idea. 

TPRS: 

As many of you know if you read my last blog post, I am working on thematic units and having my first few experiences with storytelling in my classroom. I watch this show called "One Day at a Time" on Netflix, and there is an episode in the first season called "Quinces." It's about a Cuban-American family, and the daughter recently comes out of the closet and is about to have her quinceañera. I decided to use this episode as the basis for the story I was going to tell. I am telling the students the story about Elena and how she struggled with some of the traditions of a quinceañera. She ends up wearing a stunning, white suit, and her father isn't okay with her being gay, so she dances with her mother, grandmother, brother, and some family friends. It's beautiful. 

The idea here is not to say that these traditions are bad, but rather to offer the possibility of other options for people who do not feel comfortable with them. I want them to recognize the possible negative effects of heteronormativity and start to understand the struggles of those of us in the LGBTQ+ community. So far, the students have been so receptive. 

Conclusion: 

As teachers, when discussing matters like this, we have to be mindful that these conversations can be difficult for some people. I made my principal and other building administrators aware of this unit before I began it and got the okay from them. The conversations can be uncomfortable, but they are so important. 

After discussing this unit with a friend of mine, she shared this New York Times article with me about "stretching the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony to accommodate gender fluidity." It's a really great read!

Thanks for reading!

Timothy